Parenting is a matter of life and death
Ray Rhodes, Jr.
Parenting is a matter of life and death. The tremendous responsibility of
bringing up children is enough to cause the knees to knock and the heart to
race. Herein is the problem for many. How many parents actually contemplate the
calling and responsibilities of being a parent? Writing in the early 1800’s the
preacher John Angell James wrote: "On parents it depends in a great measure what
their children are to be, --miserable or happy in themselves: a comfort or a
curse to their associations: an ornament or a deformity to society...." Strong
words to be sure—and they should be shocking enough to wake many a parent from
their slumber. What is at stake is the eternal well being of this present
generation and generations yet to be born (Psalm 78:1-8).
Godly parenting has many components—none of which is more important than seeking
the spiritual well being of one’s children. Think about it. Our children will
spend eternity in either heaven or hell. Is there any pursuit in this life more
important than helping to prepare our children for eternity? Faithful parents
seek to impress upon the hearts of their children the character of God; their
need for God and that God alone is the Savior. Teaching from the Bible-- godly
parent’s call on their children to repent of sin, place faith in Christ and to
follow God in holiness of life.
One of the essential ingredients in parenting is to lead by example. The
Christian parent wants his children to know and worship God. Teaching by example
is to be a model of such worship. Being a model does not mean performing like an
actor on the stage with your children serving as the audience. The godly parent
is not an actor—but is alive to the things of God. Parenting by example does not
mean that one is a perfect parent—but that one is an honest parent. The best of
parents struggle with sin. The key to parenting by example is a willingness to
acknowledge and confess sins and a looking to God for daily grace and strength.
It is to model a life of dependence upon God that recognizes obedience to God is
a serious matter. Children can be severely damaged by high tempered or lazy
parents. They can be lead astray by the unholy activities of thoughtless
parents. Where is your example leading your children? When one does not take
seriously parental responsibilities, they are acting dangerously. Indeed
parenting is a matter of life and death.
It is essential that parents lead by example. It is also essential that parents
take time to instruct their children in the ways of God. This should be done
thoughtfully, patiently, and lovingly. As a child I remember watching the
television show "The Waltons." On that show, the grandmother disciplined her
grandchildren for wrongdoing by making them memorize Bible verses. It seems to
me that such a course of action is more likely to poison the minds of children
to the things of God. God’s Word is precious and parents should strive to create
a pleasing environment for Bible studies and prayer.
John Angell James wrote: "I am desirous, if it pleases God, that my children
should be blessed with the enjoyment of reason, health, moderate portion of
worldly wealth and respectability as is compatible with their station in life
and with a view to this I will give them all the advantages of a suitable
education. But beyond this—I far more intensely desire, pray, seek that they may
have the fear of God in their hearts, be partakers of true religion, and be
everlastingly saved. And provided God grant me the latter by bestowing upon them
His grace I shall feel that my chief object is accomplished…. for rather I see
them in the humble vale of poverty if at the same time they were true Christians
than on the very pinnacle of worldly grandeur-but destitute of true piety. Let
this be the guiding principle…by which all the course should be steered."
Parenting is a matter of life and death. Devote your energies to pursuing the
eternal happiness of your children by teaching them the character and works of
God by example and through verbal instruction.
This page is under construction. Ray has written a number of columns on the family that we plan to post on the web-site. Ray also is often invited to preach and teach for family Bible conferences where he addresses issues such as Visionary Parenting, How a Godly Wife Encourages Her Husband, The Purposeful Husband, God-Centered Parenting, and Children Obey Your Parents. You can invite Ray to speak for your next conference or other teaching event by contacting us at ray@nourishedintheword.org
Scroll Down for material from Ray. Also I invite you to visit this page of the blog from my friend Steve Weaver where he has listed a variety of good resources for the family.
http://pastorsteveweaver.blogspot.com/2005/07/free-online-resources-for-raising.html
Nourished in the Word Ministries
Teaching, Writing, Books, Church Planting
Ray Rhodes, Jr. President
678.697.4495
Praying for Your Family
There was a day when it was common to refer to the father of the home as a priest. We know that some of the biblical responsibilities of a priest were to offer sacrifices and to pray. Such a job description should characterize the Christian father as he leads his family. His role as one who sacrifices on behalf of his family is evident in Paul's words "Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word" (Ephesians 5:25-26).
His role as one who is diligent in prayer is found everywhere in the Bible including these words "...praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints..." (Ephesians 6:18).
The Christian dad and mom both serve in the capacity of priest (I Peter 2:5). The dad, however, is the head of the home under Christ and he is the leader in sacrifice and the leader in prayer.
Someone has called prayer "time exposure to God." Such a definition indeed gets at a major ingredient of prayer. When we pray we are declaring our dependence on God and seeking to have His character burned into our heart. To use Francis Schaeffer’s phrase prayer is to recognize the "God Who is There." One of the lessons that we must believe and teach to our children is that God is not distant, aloof, and uninterested. He is present with and over all that He has created and He is intimately interested, caring, engaged and delights to "give good gifts to those who ask."
We must pray:
1. For our own spiritual well being and understanding of Scripture. "Take heed to yourself and to the doctrine. Continue in them, for in doing this you will save both yourself and those who hear you" (I Timothy 4:16). As a Christian and a parent we are engaged in a daily struggle against the "world, the flesh and the devil." We must not underestimate the struggle and pridefully think that we can handle it in our own strength. We are dependent upon God and must cast ourselves upon Him. We need the attendance of His Spirit to fight the good fight and to skillfully use His word in our daily skirmishes. We need His wisdom to lead our family. Therefore we need to pray!
2. For our spouse and our children. Remember the words of Samuel who promised, "As for me, be it far from me that I should sin against the LORD by failing to pray for you" (I Samuel 12:23). Putting prayerlessness into this context is like a splash of cold water on the face of the sleeping Christian. To fail to pray for others is a sin because such prayer is a command from God and is a primary means that God uses to help others.
Father you are a priest serving under the great High Priest the Lord Jesus Christ. Heed the call of Scripture to be a man of prayer. Listen to the wise instruction of Charles Spurgeon as he wrote about the Pastor.
"If you are a genuine minister of God you will stand as a priest before the Lord, spiritually wearing the ephod and the breastplate whereon you bear the names of the children of Israel, pleading for them within the veil...The preacher who neglects to pray must be very careless about his ministry. He cannot have comprehended his calling. He cannot have computed the value of a soul, or estimated the meaning of eternity. He must be a mere official, tempted into the pulpit because the piece of bread which belongs to the priest's office is very necessary to him, or a detestable hypocrite who loves the praise of men, and cares not for the praise of God...He cannot be one of those who plough deep and reap abundant harvests. He is a mere loiterer, not a laborer. As a preacher he has a name to live and is dead. He limps in his life like the lame man in the Proverbs, whose legs were not equal, for his praying is shorter than his preaching."
Spurgeon's words, though written about the Pastor, are nevertheless applicable to the father who leads his family. The father is a priest and his family is his "little church." There he imitates his lord who is the Prophet, Priest, and King over His people. There in the family the faithful father stands, wearing the names of his wife and children on and over his heart, pleading for them with God. The faithful father must not neglect his ministry and must fight the temptations that would lead him to be a father by name only and not by deed. The faithful father must "plough deep" in prayer and pray for "abundant harvests." He must not be a "mere loiterer" he must be a faithful laborer. Even as he preaches to His family he must saturated his heart, his dreams, his wife and his children in prayer.
Ray Rhodes, Jr. is President of Nourished in the Word Ministries and Pastor of Grace Community Church. Ray often teaches for conferences on the family. If you would like to schedule Ray for your next teaching event then contact us at 678.697.4495 or ray@nourishedintheword.org
What Do You Want in a Church?
Need a new computer? Why settle for what the retailer has on the shelf? Today you can "build" your computer as you like. Computer stores offer the option of designing the computer that you desire. You can choose the size of the hard-drive, the amount of memory, the operating system, and almost anything else. While you choose your selections the online calculator calculates your cost. If you choose to buy the computer then its as simple as typing in your credit-card number and clicking the send button. If you decide that you do not want the computer then you simply walk away. The philosophy is an old one "the customer is king." (Really the retailer is king but the way that the retailer gets to be king is making the customer feel like he is king).
Customer driven marketing is the norm in the world of business. But sadly the Christian church often doesn't seem much different. Some churches follow the same customer driven mentality that moves the business world. It’s not uncommon for the question to be asked, "What do you want in a church?" The question seems innocent enough. After all one wants to attend a church that meets certain criteria. The question is--whose criteria should the church be concerned with? Who really is king in a "customer is king" kind of church? Perhaps it’s not the customer at all. Perhaps, like the retail store, its the church that's king--or maybe its really the leaders of the church who are king in a-- parishioner is king-- kind of church. If it is the leaders or the members or even the collective church that is king--then the church is destined for chaos and ultimate failure. The sad reality is that unless there is a true spiritual awakening the leaders and the church will not actually recognize the failure--for they are gauging success on the wrong scorecard. They may think that they are "...rich...and have need of nothing...” and not know that they "...are wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked..." (Revelation 3:17).
If you were to log on to the Internet and "build to order" a church--what kind of church would you design? There are folks that have done extensive surveys to find out what the consumer wants in a church--and have indeed set out to build a customer designed church. What do you want in a church? That question can be a fine question to ask--if what we want is to "glorify God and enjoy Him forever." If what we want is what He wants then asking such a question about want--is an excellent question. It's really all about the want--isn't it? But how do we know what we are to want. The reality is--there is what we want and there is what we should want. Our goal is that what we should want becomes what we indeed want. That is a battle--but it’s a battle worth fighting. What we should want--is what God delights in. What God delights in we should desire. But how do we know what God wants in a local church? There is only one way to know for sure and that is to consult Him. He is not silent when it comes to His church. After all--He loves the church to the amazing extent that Jesus died for her (Ephesians 5). The Bible is where we get our church wants straightened out.
To be "Nourished in the Word" is to want a church that is faithful to our Lord. In such a church you will find the clear preaching of the gospel, expository teaching of the Scripture, biblical accountability in a "one another" community of loving relationships, and a church that practices Biblical drama--that is the drama of baptism and the Lord's Supper. Our wants in a church must be grounded in and grow out of a commitment to God's will as revealed in Scripture. As folks are added to our church then we would be wise to remember what has often been said, "that which we win them with--we win them to." Let us make sure that we win people to Christ, His Word and a life of faithfulness as members of His church.
Ray Rhodes, Jr. is President of Nourished in the Word Ministries, which is helping to plant Grace Community Church of North Georgia located in Gainesville, GA.
The Well-Nourished Family
Many parents in Georgia recently expressed anger with Governor Sonny Perdue. To listen to their rage one would have thought that he was guilty of an awful crime. What was it that stirred the anger of many a Georgia parent? Well----Governor Sonny Perdue asked that Georgia Public Schools consider shutting down for two days for the purpose of conserving fuel. Most of the words of criticism that I heard came from mothers of school age children. Why? Well if the truth be told school is often used as a free baby sitting service for career minded moms. Mothers were sent scrambling for baby-sitters or forced to take their children to work with them. It was chaos in many a Georgia home because--school was cancelled and parents had to--well--parent. Now I know that some of you think that I am being a bit too harsh. Yes, I know about the exceptional circumstances that force some women with small children into the work place. I am reminded, however, of the clear teaching of Scripture about the well-nourished family. Scripture speaks to the Dad and the Mom. Consider the following infallible words, "...fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4). And mothers are commanded to "...love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed" (Titus 2:4-5). Did you notice that fathers and mothers are to be committed to the well-being of the home? Did you notice as well that the godly Mom is committed to being a homemaker. Not every Georgia parent that were inconvenienced by school being closed for a couple of days see their children as a burden nor have they jettisoned their biblical calling--but from the anger that I heard expressed at the Govenor---some do and some have. The well-nourished family is one in which both Dad and Mom view children as a blessing from the Lord.
Nourished in the Word Ministries is committed to biblical teaching on the family. To schedule Ray for your next family conference contact him at ray@nourishedintheword.org
Books That Nourish
Books That Nourish is the book ministry of the Rhodes' family. Presently we are well-stocked in excellent resources to help you in your Christian journey. We have a large selection of ESV Bibles in all shapes, sizes, and colors. We are committed to selling only books that communicate sound doctrine. We would be happy to recommend books and bibles and to help you choose books for holiday giving. Contact Lori at lori@nourishedintheword.org.
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